6/30/09
What can I say! My dearest friend has lost her son. The son she lived and breathed for. Her only child. Gone! - Too young, too harsh of a death, nothing any one, let alone a parent should have to see and live through. I will do my best to be there for her, especially when the silence will be so deafening she may want to finally collapse.
I am sad for her and her family.
It took my breath away when she told me, and now she begins the stages of grief.
Hold onto everyone you have, say I love you, hug, and let go of any bitterness you have!
Life truly is too short ......

So the week after the retreat has been uneventfull! I have been practicing my breathing, my breathing my breathing. Meditation in the sense of what I am learning about it is "tough".
Who knew.
Live in the moment! Trying to, doesn't sound that hard, but it is!
Minds race, thoughts go ahead ..... What do I do next, where do I go next! True those are the thoughts that run thru my head, whether I am watching a movie (how long till this ends) Reading a book (hmmmm maybe I will read for another hour ) watching dvr (forward thru the commercials, forward thru some other stuff, got to get to the next one) Yeah I definitely have to learn to live in the moment

A RETREAT

facial and massage were out of this world. Kudo's to Diana and Kathleen at The Center For Well Being.

The Retreat!
Many things came out of this time I spent at the Catholic Monastery in S.M.
I decided that I would sit back and for once in my life be silent. Not try to interact with anyone, not asking questions, etc etc. So I did, and not one person trespassed on my silence. There were smiles as people passed, getting water, getting something to drink, to eat etc. But no one reached out and said, Hi, where do you come from, why are you here. Different for me,,,,,,, 50 women (and the token male) and the only conversation I had with a stranger was when I walked up to the gal who started this whole thing. I knew her because she was pregnant (very) introduced myself etc etc. I did connect with her at the end of the day. Other than that the only people's names I know, are Karen (the leader) Janice (the yoga teacher)
I learned to breathe (yes breathe, there is a proper way) I learned that Yoga is very commercialized and if I were to be truthfull I had no idea. I knew that there are many different styles of Yoga (well I thought there were, turns out, no, there is only one Yoga.
I very much liked Janice, the Yoga teacher. She was soft spoken, kind, and just hit my heart with her gentleness.... I want to meditate and learn YOGA the proper way.
I want to continue the quest for whatever it is I am looking for, (however Karen M would say I have already found it and am perfect as I am ) Not convinced of that just yet.
Distrubing issues with parts of my family, unresolved, no ones fault, just my feelings getting in the way again.

FINALLY FRIDAY

Oh thank goodness for TGIF
Can't wait for the massage and facial ........
Read Dani's blog, sad that the addition to their family will not happen right now but I am sure their hearts will open again and soon have the sister or brother for Judah that they are longing for.

Seeing results of the daily laps around the park, finally, it's been 6 weeks something should be happening by now :)

So I continue to reflect on my life, where do I want to go, what do I want to do?
Again the answers are slow in coming but they are coming.
Retreat this weekend, massage and facial on friday night, can't wait.

START OVER

So this is how I begin my new beginning.
I am not sure the chain of events (or if there really were any) that led me to start a different path for myself. I have good friends, a wonderful family etc however something is missing and I beleive that is what I am in search of.
So as I go on this journey I will share with you the adventures and the outcomes.