so Christmas is over, the New Year is approaching quickly (like 24 plus hours) I am not much on making resolutions so I won't again this year.......
I will try and practice Breathing In and Breathing Out, I will try and quit smoking (again)- I will try and be patient - I will try and see some good in everyone (I promise myself I will try)
The boys are growing too quickly ..... their Mom just turned 29 (oh how quickly those years have passed) I am for the most part Happy with the year 2009 and can't wait to see what happens in 2010.
HAPPY NEW YEAR
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
THE HOLIDAYS ARE NEARING
I have taken a new approach to the holidays and I feel much better about it. We have decided that gift exchanges are out and love and togetherness are in ... Home made gifts will do just fine, the boys will get their toys etc but the adults will abstain. Too many people broke and no sense in using credit cards just to try and put a smile on someone's face.... all over rated anyway....kids are important and I will fill their faces with gladness.....
Friday, October 23, 2009
Hmmmm.. the foot get's better than not so much.... after 4 months I have come to beleive that it may never be what it was before and i need to accept it and move on.
My daughter seem's to be adjusting to her role as stay at home Mom, the boys are adjusting as well. It's tough on the little one since he has no "friends" to play with as yet but they are working on that as well.
Trying to help my friend who lost her son has proven to be very tough. She is a very focused woman and once she focues on something there is nothing anyone can do to take her off that course. I will just stand by and hope that the pieces of her world don't fall apart again and if they do be ready to help put them back again.
Work is work, nothing much changes, I still have a job so that is enough for me right now
My daughter seem's to be adjusting to her role as stay at home Mom, the boys are adjusting as well. It's tough on the little one since he has no "friends" to play with as yet but they are working on that as well.
Trying to help my friend who lost her son has proven to be very tough. She is a very focused woman and once she focues on something there is nothing anyone can do to take her off that course. I will just stand by and hope that the pieces of her world don't fall apart again and if they do be ready to help put them back again.
Work is work, nothing much changes, I still have a job so that is enough for me right now
Thursday, October 1, 2009
THE SUMMER OF THE FOOT HAS TURNED TO FALL
So- the foot is finally after 10 weeks healing,I think it's because I had the healing hands of my good friend work on them this past weekend, but whatever the reason I am no longer wrapped and packaged.... given the okay to start to walk and put my heels on again,,,,,,,, hallelujah!
My daughter is adjusting well to being home with the boys, and they seem to enjoy it as well.The little one need's some "kid" company and I think she will need some "adult" conversation fairly soon....
Sad news that my dear friend is still grieiving greatly over the loss of her son. Time heals but I can not imagine what she is going thru.
My daughter is adjusting well to being home with the boys, and they seem to enjoy it as well.The little one need's some "kid" company and I think she will need some "adult" conversation fairly soon....
Sad news that my dear friend is still grieiving greatly over the loss of her son. Time heals but I can not imagine what she is going thru.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
So the summer is ending, the foot is still "healing" my daughter is going to be a stay at home Mom and I am so happy for her. The boys will be much better off having Mommy at home every day and I think in general once she get's over the "feeling" of just being on vacation she will be much happier as well. None of us that worked when our little one's were growing did it by choice but for surivival. I am happy for all of them.
I continue to hope that the foot will get better and I can get back to the normalcy of shoes etc, rather than Doctors and casts.... I am getting there I just need to be patient.
I continue to hope that the foot will get better and I can get back to the normalcy of shoes etc, rather than Doctors and casts.... I am getting there I just need to be patient.
Friday, August 21, 2009
THE SUMMER
well the "foot" injury has taken away all the fun summer things. No concert in the parks, no volunteering at the SMPH just a lot of trips to the Dr. and putting it up and trying to heal.
Last weekend the trip to Vegas quickly became the trip from hell, mostly because of the "foot" and partially because I felt "left out" ..... i hate it when I let my feelings get hurt.... especially when I really take it over the top... I hobbled to the airport via cab (alone) checked in .... hobbled to a place where I could sit and smoke (so outside with no avaialble seating on my rump) and sat there for 2 hours. Hobbled to the restroom and then thru security(thank goodness no real issues with the "foot and boot"....Hobbled to what I thought was the GATE for departure (only to realize too late, that 25 minutes b/4 take off I am at the wrong GATE) Wheelchair called but never appeared so off I went hobbling to the correct GATE ---- Appearing at the correct GATE worn out, depressed, holding back the tears, the kind man said Honey you should be on board I have been paging you" --- more hobbling to the plane and down the aisles, no avaialble seats on the end, hobble back to the front and go to a middle seat..... It sometimes is tough to be "alone"? Lonely not so much, alone, sometimes more than I can take. I felt like I had never traveled before as if this airport was someplace I had never been before and most of all I felt "unglamourous" boot, hair, clothing, all of it.... I just didn't feel like the self assured, she know's who she is and what she is doing Chris..... More tears fell and fell and fell......
Last weekend the trip to Vegas quickly became the trip from hell, mostly because of the "foot" and partially because I felt "left out" ..... i hate it when I let my feelings get hurt.... especially when I really take it over the top... I hobbled to the airport via cab (alone) checked in .... hobbled to a place where I could sit and smoke (so outside with no avaialble seating on my rump) and sat there for 2 hours. Hobbled to the restroom and then thru security(thank goodness no real issues with the "foot and boot"....Hobbled to what I thought was the GATE for departure (only to realize too late, that 25 minutes b/4 take off I am at the wrong GATE) Wheelchair called but never appeared so off I went hobbling to the correct GATE ---- Appearing at the correct GATE worn out, depressed, holding back the tears, the kind man said Honey you should be on board I have been paging you" --- more hobbling to the plane and down the aisles, no avaialble seats on the end, hobble back to the front and go to a middle seat..... It sometimes is tough to be "alone"? Lonely not so much, alone, sometimes more than I can take. I felt like I had never traveled before as if this airport was someplace I had never been before and most of all I felt "unglamourous" boot, hair, clothing, all of it.... I just didn't feel like the self assured, she know's who she is and what she is doing Chris..... More tears fell and fell and fell......
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
So time has passed, my friend is still grieving, I am still trying to help.
Not sure when she will be ready to return to work but that will be on her own time.
She is on the right road ....... recovery is not the word to use, not sure what word to use.
The foot injury has ruined my summer, no walking, no Yoga, no anything, a lot of sitting, icing and elevating..... I am such a bad patient....... Patience is not something I have much of in regards to so many things. Someone said today that they didn't think that Patience was my middle name, more like MULE, and then paid the complement, "that's why she get's things done" -- nice to hear a compliment now and then
Next retreat is in Phoenix January 16th ---- can't wait (there I go again, no patience )
Not sure when she will be ready to return to work but that will be on her own time.
She is on the right road ....... recovery is not the word to use, not sure what word to use.
The foot injury has ruined my summer, no walking, no Yoga, no anything, a lot of sitting, icing and elevating..... I am such a bad patient....... Patience is not something I have much of in regards to so many things. Someone said today that they didn't think that Patience was my middle name, more like MULE, and then paid the complement, "that's why she get's things done" -- nice to hear a compliment now and then
Next retreat is in Phoenix January 16th ---- can't wait (there I go again, no patience )
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Sometimes you just hit the nail on the head! Recovering from the "foot injury" is taking more time than I would like. It has only been three weeks but this injury has made me realize that I should just quit my whining and get on with it. Many people deal daily with injuries or ailments far worse than this. A few weeks of flip flops, casts and the like are not deal breakers just slower downers....
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Mediation, focusing on what is in front of me, - this is the new mantra! we shall see how it goes!
Birthday parties, vacations coming up - births of new granchildren for my friend! Nothing like being a grandparent, nothing compares to that love, you love your children but your grandchildren have a special place that no one else can touch! You don't "get" that until you expierence it! Once that happens you are hooked for life! So gratefull that mine are close at hand for visiting and fun times!
Birthday parties, vacations coming up - births of new granchildren for my friend! Nothing like being a grandparent, nothing compares to that love, you love your children but your grandchildren have a special place that no one else can touch! You don't "get" that until you expierence it! Once that happens you are hooked for life! So gratefull that mine are close at hand for visiting and fun times!
Monday, July 13, 2009
2 WEEKS
Wow, what an eye opening two weeks this has been for me.
My best friends son is gone, she will never see him again, never, never!
How does one go on? I pray for her, I try to put myself in her place.
All that happens is deep deep sorrow!
This has brought me to my knees in prayer, made me sob out loud, make me understand what it means to tell those you love that you love them, show those that you care "that you care" hug your friends, let them support you, let them be your shoulder to cry on, give you the kleenex when you need it, get the lunch for you. All those things that freinds do for one another.
How blessed I am to have these amazing people in my life. How blessed I am to have a daughter who doesn't mind reminding me to take care of myself and let other's help.
I will continue to remind myself of all of these things daily, so that should I forget, LIFE IS TOO SHORT to hold grudges, complain about things that really in the grand plan do not fit...
Meditate and breathe..
My best friends son is gone, she will never see him again, never, never!
How does one go on? I pray for her, I try to put myself in her place.
All that happens is deep deep sorrow!
This has brought me to my knees in prayer, made me sob out loud, make me understand what it means to tell those you love that you love them, show those that you care "that you care" hug your friends, let them support you, let them be your shoulder to cry on, give you the kleenex when you need it, get the lunch for you. All those things that freinds do for one another.
How blessed I am to have these amazing people in my life. How blessed I am to have a daughter who doesn't mind reminding me to take care of myself and let other's help.
I will continue to remind myself of all of these things daily, so that should I forget, LIFE IS TOO SHORT to hold grudges, complain about things that really in the grand plan do not fit...
Meditate and breathe..
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
6/30/09
What can I say! My dearest friend has lost her son. The son she lived and breathed for. Her only child. Gone! - Too young, too harsh of a death, nothing any one, let alone a parent should have to see and live through. I will do my best to be there for her, especially when the silence will be so deafening she may want to finally collapse.
I am sad for her and her family.
It took my breath away when she told me, and now she begins the stages of grief.
Hold onto everyone you have, say I love you, hug, and let go of any bitterness you have!
Life truly is too short ......
What can I say! My dearest friend has lost her son. The son she lived and breathed for. Her only child. Gone! - Too young, too harsh of a death, nothing any one, let alone a parent should have to see and live through. I will do my best to be there for her, especially when the silence will be so deafening she may want to finally collapse.
I am sad for her and her family.
It took my breath away when she told me, and now she begins the stages of grief.
Hold onto everyone you have, say I love you, hug, and let go of any bitterness you have!
Life truly is too short ......
Friday, June 26, 2009
So the week after the retreat has been uneventfull! I have been practicing my breathing, my breathing my breathing. Meditation in the sense of what I am learning about it is "tough".
Who knew.
Live in the moment! Trying to, doesn't sound that hard, but it is!
Minds race, thoughts go ahead ..... What do I do next, where do I go next! True those are the thoughts that run thru my head, whether I am watching a movie (how long till this ends) Reading a book (hmmmm maybe I will read for another hour ) watching dvr (forward thru the commercials, forward thru some other stuff, got to get to the next one) Yeah I definitely have to learn to live in the moment
Who knew.
Live in the moment! Trying to, doesn't sound that hard, but it is!
Minds race, thoughts go ahead ..... What do I do next, where do I go next! True those are the thoughts that run thru my head, whether I am watching a movie (how long till this ends) Reading a book (hmmmm maybe I will read for another hour ) watching dvr (forward thru the commercials, forward thru some other stuff, got to get to the next one) Yeah I definitely have to learn to live in the moment
Monday, June 22, 2009
A RETREAT
facial and massage were out of this world. Kudo's to Diana and Kathleen at The Center For Well Being.
The Retreat!
Many things came out of this time I spent at the Catholic Monastery in S.M.
I decided that I would sit back and for once in my life be silent. Not try to interact with anyone, not asking questions, etc etc. So I did, and not one person trespassed on my silence. There were smiles as people passed, getting water, getting something to drink, to eat etc. But no one reached out and said, Hi, where do you come from, why are you here. Different for me,,,,,,, 50 women (and the token male) and the only conversation I had with a stranger was when I walked up to the gal who started this whole thing. I knew her because she was pregnant (very) introduced myself etc etc. I did connect with her at the end of the day. Other than that the only people's names I know, are Karen (the leader) Janice (the yoga teacher)
I learned to breathe (yes breathe, there is a proper way) I learned that Yoga is very commercialized and if I were to be truthfull I had no idea. I knew that there are many different styles of Yoga (well I thought there were, turns out, no, there is only one Yoga.
I very much liked Janice, the Yoga teacher. She was soft spoken, kind, and just hit my heart with her gentleness.... I want to meditate and learn YOGA the proper way.
I want to continue the quest for whatever it is I am looking for, (however Karen M would say I have already found it and am perfect as I am ) Not convinced of that just yet.
Distrubing issues with parts of my family, unresolved, no ones fault, just my feelings getting in the way again.
The Retreat!
Many things came out of this time I spent at the Catholic Monastery in S.M.
I decided that I would sit back and for once in my life be silent. Not try to interact with anyone, not asking questions, etc etc. So I did, and not one person trespassed on my silence. There were smiles as people passed, getting water, getting something to drink, to eat etc. But no one reached out and said, Hi, where do you come from, why are you here. Different for me,,,,,,, 50 women (and the token male) and the only conversation I had with a stranger was when I walked up to the gal who started this whole thing. I knew her because she was pregnant (very) introduced myself etc etc. I did connect with her at the end of the day. Other than that the only people's names I know, are Karen (the leader) Janice (the yoga teacher)
I learned to breathe (yes breathe, there is a proper way) I learned that Yoga is very commercialized and if I were to be truthfull I had no idea. I knew that there are many different styles of Yoga (well I thought there were, turns out, no, there is only one Yoga.
I very much liked Janice, the Yoga teacher. She was soft spoken, kind, and just hit my heart with her gentleness.... I want to meditate and learn YOGA the proper way.
I want to continue the quest for whatever it is I am looking for, (however Karen M would say I have already found it and am perfect as I am ) Not convinced of that just yet.
Distrubing issues with parts of my family, unresolved, no ones fault, just my feelings getting in the way again.
Friday, June 19, 2009
FINALLY FRIDAY
Oh thank goodness for TGIF
Can't wait for the massage and facial ........
Read Dani's blog, sad that the addition to their family will not happen right now but I am sure their hearts will open again and soon have the sister or brother for Judah that they are longing for.
Seeing results of the daily laps around the park, finally, it's been 6 weeks something should be happening by now :)
Can't wait for the massage and facial ........
Read Dani's blog, sad that the addition to their family will not happen right now but I am sure their hearts will open again and soon have the sister or brother for Judah that they are longing for.
Seeing results of the daily laps around the park, finally, it's been 6 weeks something should be happening by now :)
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
START OVER
So this is how I begin my new beginning.
I am not sure the chain of events (or if there really were any) that led me to start a different path for myself. I have good friends, a wonderful family etc however something is missing and I beleive that is what I am in search of.
So as I go on this journey I will share with you the adventures and the outcomes.
I am not sure the chain of events (or if there really were any) that led me to start a different path for myself. I have good friends, a wonderful family etc however something is missing and I beleive that is what I am in search of.
So as I go on this journey I will share with you the adventures and the outcomes.
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