THE SUMMER

well the "foot" injury has taken away all the fun summer things. No concert in the parks, no volunteering at the SMPH just a lot of trips to the Dr. and putting it up and trying to heal.
Last weekend the trip to Vegas quickly became the trip from hell, mostly because of the "foot" and partially because I felt "left out" ..... i hate it when I let my feelings get hurt.... especially when I really take it over the top... I hobbled to the airport via cab (alone) checked in .... hobbled to a place where I could sit and smoke (so outside with no avaialble seating on my rump) and sat there for 2 hours. Hobbled to the restroom and then thru security(thank goodness no real issues with the "foot and boot"....Hobbled to what I thought was the GATE for departure (only to realize too late, that 25 minutes b/4 take off I am at the wrong GATE) Wheelchair called but never appeared so off I went hobbling to the correct GATE ---- Appearing at the correct GATE worn out, depressed, holding back the tears, the kind man said Honey you should be on board I have been paging you" --- more hobbling to the plane and down the aisles, no avaialble seats on the end, hobble back to the front and go to a middle seat..... It sometimes is tough to be "alone"? Lonely not so much, alone, sometimes more than I can take. I felt like I had never traveled before as if this airport was someplace I had never been before and most of all I felt "unglamourous" boot, hair, clothing, all of it.... I just didn't feel like the self assured, she know's who she is and what she is doing Chris..... More tears fell and fell and fell......

So time has passed, my friend is still grieving, I am still trying to help.
Not sure when she will be ready to return to work but that will be on her own time.
She is on the right road ....... recovery is not the word to use, not sure what word to use.

The foot injury has ruined my summer, no walking, no Yoga, no anything, a lot of sitting, icing and elevating..... I am such a bad patient....... Patience is not something I have much of in regards to so many things. Someone said today that they didn't think that Patience was my middle name, more like MULE, and then paid the complement, "that's why she get's things done" -- nice to hear a compliment now and then

Next retreat is in Phoenix January 16th ---- can't wait (there I go again, no patience )

Sometimes you just hit the nail on the head! Recovering from the "foot injury" is taking more time than I would like. It has only been three weeks but this injury has made me realize that I should just quit my whining and get on with it. Many people deal daily with injuries or ailments far worse than this. A few weeks of flip flops, casts and the like are not deal breakers just slower downers....

Mediation, focusing on what is in front of me, - this is the new mantra! we shall see how it goes!
Birthday parties, vacations coming up - births of new granchildren for my friend! Nothing like being a grandparent, nothing compares to that love, you love your children but your grandchildren have a special place that no one else can touch! You don't "get" that until you expierence it! Once that happens you are hooked for life! So gratefull that mine are close at hand for visiting and fun times!

2 WEEKS

Wow, what an eye opening two weeks this has been for me.
My best friends son is gone, she will never see him again, never, never!
How does one go on? I pray for her, I try to put myself in her place.
All that happens is deep deep sorrow!
This has brought me to my knees in prayer, made me sob out loud, make me understand what it means to tell those you love that you love them, show those that you care "that you care" hug your friends, let them support you, let them be your shoulder to cry on, give you the kleenex when you need it, get the lunch for you. All those things that freinds do for one another.
How blessed I am to have these amazing people in my life. How blessed I am to have a daughter who doesn't mind reminding me to take care of myself and let other's help.
I will continue to remind myself of all of these things daily, so that should I forget, LIFE IS TOO SHORT to hold grudges, complain about things that really in the grand plan do not fit...

Meditate and breathe..

6/30/09
What can I say! My dearest friend has lost her son. The son she lived and breathed for. Her only child. Gone! - Too young, too harsh of a death, nothing any one, let alone a parent should have to see and live through. I will do my best to be there for her, especially when the silence will be so deafening she may want to finally collapse.
I am sad for her and her family.
It took my breath away when she told me, and now she begins the stages of grief.
Hold onto everyone you have, say I love you, hug, and let go of any bitterness you have!
Life truly is too short ......

So the week after the retreat has been uneventfull! I have been practicing my breathing, my breathing my breathing. Meditation in the sense of what I am learning about it is "tough".
Who knew.
Live in the moment! Trying to, doesn't sound that hard, but it is!
Minds race, thoughts go ahead ..... What do I do next, where do I go next! True those are the thoughts that run thru my head, whether I am watching a movie (how long till this ends) Reading a book (hmmmm maybe I will read for another hour ) watching dvr (forward thru the commercials, forward thru some other stuff, got to get to the next one) Yeah I definitely have to learn to live in the moment