Reflection -

Hmmmmm so much to say and no words can describe it.....
Feeling better since I adopted my "mantra" of LGLG Let Go Let God!
as each day passes I repeat the mantra and calm my inner self that God has the master plan for all things and there is nothing I can do to change it
Worrying about what might be can not help, but preparing for what might come is always a good idea...

Winter blues

so Christmas is over, the New Year is approaching quickly (like 24 plus hours) I am not much on making resolutions so I won't again this year.......
I will try and practice Breathing In and Breathing Out, I will try and quit smoking (again)- I will try and be patient - I will try and see some good in everyone (I promise myself I will try)
The boys are growing too quickly ..... their Mom just turned 29 (oh how quickly those years have passed) I am for the most part Happy with the year 2009 and can't wait to see what happens in 2010.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

THE HOLIDAYS ARE NEARING

I have taken a new approach to the holidays and I feel much better about it. We have decided that gift exchanges are out and love and togetherness are in ... Home made gifts will do just fine, the boys will get their toys etc but the adults will abstain. Too many people broke and no sense in using credit cards just to try and put a smile on someone's face.... all over rated anyway....kids are important and I will fill their faces with gladness.....

Hmmmm.. the foot get's better than not so much.... after 4 months I have come to beleive that it may never be what it was before and i need to accept it and move on.

My daughter seem's to be adjusting to her role as stay at home Mom, the boys are adjusting as well. It's tough on the little one since he has no "friends" to play with as yet but they are working on that as well.

Trying to help my friend who lost her son has proven to be very tough. She is a very focused woman and once she focues on something there is nothing anyone can do to take her off that course. I will just stand by and hope that the pieces of her world don't fall apart again and if they do be ready to help put them back again.

Work is work, nothing much changes, I still have a job so that is enough for me right now

THE SUMMER OF THE FOOT HAS TURNED TO FALL

So- the foot is finally after 10 weeks healing,I think it's because I had the healing hands of my good friend work on them this past weekend, but whatever the reason I am no longer wrapped and packaged.... given the okay to start to walk and put my heels on again,,,,,,,, hallelujah!

My daughter is adjusting well to being home with the boys, and they seem to enjoy it as well.The little one need's some "kid" company and I think she will need some "adult" conversation fairly soon....

Sad news that my dear friend is still grieiving greatly over the loss of her son. Time heals but I can not imagine what she is going thru.

So the summer is ending, the foot is still "healing" my daughter is going to be a stay at home Mom and I am so happy for her. The boys will be much better off having Mommy at home every day and I think in general once she get's over the "feeling" of just being on vacation she will be much happier as well. None of us that worked when our little one's were growing did it by choice but for surivival. I am happy for all of them.
I continue to hope that the foot will get better and I can get back to the normalcy of shoes etc, rather than Doctors and casts.... I am getting there I just need to be patient.

THE SUMMER

well the "foot" injury has taken away all the fun summer things. No concert in the parks, no volunteering at the SMPH just a lot of trips to the Dr. and putting it up and trying to heal.
Last weekend the trip to Vegas quickly became the trip from hell, mostly because of the "foot" and partially because I felt "left out" ..... i hate it when I let my feelings get hurt.... especially when I really take it over the top... I hobbled to the airport via cab (alone) checked in .... hobbled to a place where I could sit and smoke (so outside with no avaialble seating on my rump) and sat there for 2 hours. Hobbled to the restroom and then thru security(thank goodness no real issues with the "foot and boot"....Hobbled to what I thought was the GATE for departure (only to realize too late, that 25 minutes b/4 take off I am at the wrong GATE) Wheelchair called but never appeared so off I went hobbling to the correct GATE ---- Appearing at the correct GATE worn out, depressed, holding back the tears, the kind man said Honey you should be on board I have been paging you" --- more hobbling to the plane and down the aisles, no avaialble seats on the end, hobble back to the front and go to a middle seat..... It sometimes is tough to be "alone"? Lonely not so much, alone, sometimes more than I can take. I felt like I had never traveled before as if this airport was someplace I had never been before and most of all I felt "unglamourous" boot, hair, clothing, all of it.... I just didn't feel like the self assured, she know's who she is and what she is doing Chris..... More tears fell and fell and fell......